How to Use a Vibrator: Tips From Sex and Wellness Experts

Don’t be deceived by its size – this petite vibrator stimulates the clitoris with a powerful tapping sensation, with the help of three speeds and six vibration patterns. Our in-house team of reviewers has collectively tried over 500 sex toys—the ones we featured here are amongst their tried-and-true faves. We also asked sex educators and therapists to share the products that have been the biggest game-changers in their clients’ and patients’ solo and partnered sex lives. The final list only includes options that earned two enthusiastic thumbs up. Our favorite palm vibe, the Le Wand Point, has a sleek stainless steel handle and an uber-soft ridged silicone tip. The heavier steel end allows the toy to provide more pressure than an all-silicone option, Finn previously told SELF.

So read on for a few that pass the low-key “shhh” test or deliver on a particularly subtle aesthetic. It’s important to note that only nonporous toys can be sterilized , and you’ll need to use strong ingredients like alcohol and bleach to properly rid of the germs. If you go for the bleach, Kleopfer recommends using a 10% bleach-to-water solution before rinsing well.

Some people’s G-spots respond better to motion or pressure than to vibration, which is why it’s great that this rabbit vibe taps your spot rather than vibrating it. It feels remarkably like getting fingered by a skilled partner, IMO, which is high praise for a sex toy! It can even feel good to hold the “tapping” portion of the toy against external erogenous zones, like the nipples and clit, when you’re getting warmed up. And this vibe is waterproof, too, so feel free to enjoy it in the shower or tub.

Designed to be worn between your fingers, the Fin is an easy-to-grasp sex toy that can stay discreet during sex vibrators, Lisa Finn, sex educator with sex toy store Babeland, tells SELF. “You don’t have to worry about it slipping from your hands as you play, which is great for mobility and accessibility as well as keeping it from being obstructive or in the way,” they say. It’s also water-resistant, USB-rechargeable, and has three low-intensity settings that you can explore by pressing its only button.

The sex tech industry has conditioned us to think of toys in terms of male and female, penis and vagina, but that’s reductive and inaccurate, contributing to a larger narrative about the relationship between genitals and gender. We opt to be as specific as possible and use anatomical terms to describe individual erogenous zones—and there are way more than just P and V. This step is optional, but lubricant can be helpful to reduce the friction that might cause discomfort. It’s important to note that the kind of lube you use depends on the material of your vibrator. For example, if the vibrator is made of silicone, a water-based lube will help preserve the material and avoid damaging it.